Daniel Principe was 11 years old when he was first exposed to pornography online.
“I was obviously presented with this stimulus that spiked my dopamine, piqued my curiosity, made me feel all sorts of things that I hid from my parents,” Mr Principe said.
For the next decade, he said porn became a “default sex educator”, shaping his ideas about consent and respect.
Those ideas made him increasingly uncomfortable as he began to recognise their inherent sexism.
Mr Principe stopped watching and began “unlearning” what porn had taught him.
Initially, he felt alone.
Then he realised many people faced similar struggles, so he decided to teach others the lessons he had learned the hard way.
The youth advocate has now shared with more than 70,000 young people across the country — on a mission to help boys grow into good men.
Daniel Principe is using his experiences to educate the next generation of men. (Supplied)
“I think with all these conversations it’s really important that young people know they’re not bad, wrong or in trouble, and their parents aren’t failing them,” Mr Principe said.
Advocates say new data has highlighted the importance of those conversations.
The Our Watch Impact of Pornography On Young People Report surveyed 832 young Australians and found the average teenage girl had seen porn before her 14th birthday.
“That’s two years earlier than when we last surveyed,” said Our Watch chief executive Patty Kinnersly.
The report recognised that while pornography was “not inherently problematic”, the way it represented people was cause for concern, particularly when children were conditioned to see those representations as normal.
Sexist, racist, violent — and normal?
The majority of young people in the survey acknowledged pornography pushed sexist, racist and violent ideas.
- 73 per cent agreed porn was degrading to women
- 72 per cent agreed porn often showed aggression and violence against women
- 60 per cent agreed porn was degrading to people of certain races
Despite that, almost one in three said they turned to pornography as a form of sex education.
The report found young Australians increasingly turning to pornographic material for sexual education. (ABC News: Billy Cooper)
The report flagged that as a major concern, finding violent and harmful pornography could negatively impact young people’s attitudes to sex, relationships and consent.
Ms Kinnersly said the report showed how important it was that young people were given the resources and opportunity to learn about sex in appropriate settings.
“We need to do more to give young people an understanding of consent and healthy relationships that’s outside pornography,” she said.
“Often it shows men to be dominant and women to be submissive … it is normalising that’s what a relationship looks like.”
The findings have led Our Watch to call for the inclusion of age-appropriate pornography information in respectful relationships courses, which were made mandatory in Australian schools last year.
Patty Kinnersly says young people need to be shown different examples of healthy relationships. (ABC News: Eden Hynninen)
The report also recommended resources and training for workers in the youth space, expert partnerships, and better communication tools for parents, who may find the conversations awkward.
“Young people are accessing the online environment in greater numbers because they carry the online environment around with them in their pocket — that’s not going to change,” she said.
“It doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing — what we need to do is be honest about it, do our own work and then have a really honest conversation with young people.”
Solving the puzzle of prevention
Mr Principe has made a career out of having honest conversations.
“We owe it to them to continue to have these conversations and equip them for the world they are navigating, but didn’t create,” he said.
He described one exercise he ran, asking teenage boys to point out what porn didn’t show.
Their answers blew him away — 15 and 16-year-old boys pointing out a lack of consent, respect, and love.
Daniel Principe works with young men who are encountering online pornography earlier than ever. (Supplied)
“Young people are already thinking quite critically about all this, they just need our help,” he said.
Mr Principe said the results of the report did not surprise him and agreed education was critical, but not enough on its own.
“Online porn has never been more sexist, racist or violent … how do we help a young child unpack that while they’re in a stage of latency?” he said.
“The solution is we don’t, we stop them having to encounter pornography.”
He and other advocates have called for age verification to access pornographic material.
The federal government is considering a range of measures that would prevent children accessing porn — including its social media ban for teenagers.
The government is weighing up age verification barriers for Australians accessing pornography. (Adobe Stock)
Ms Kinnersly agreed solutions needed to be multifaceted.
“If we’re going to prevent all violence against women, we need to make sure we’ve got all the pieces of the puzzle working together,” she said.
“Legislation is one part of that puzzle. Education is a really important part of that puzzle.”
Not only for kids, but their parents and carers.
The report highlighted the need for more resources to empower adults to start awkward — but critical — conversations.
“It’s incumbent on us as a community to make sure that what young people see on porn is put in context,” Ms Kinnersly said.
